


Distracted

by Laser



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Angst, Heavy Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Many of them, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Slow Build, i'm bad at tags sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7425946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laser/pseuds/Laser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Noya focused on the sweat dripping down his face he didn’t have to think about sweat dripping off someone else… NO. He needed to crash this train of thought off the tracks and into a ditch- no, into a deep, deep ocean, where it would sink to the bottom and stay there so he wouldn’t ever have to think about it again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     The ambiance of balls slamming against hands and against the wooden floor made it almost too loud to think. Luckily. Noya was sitting on the bench on the side of the gym. Coach made him take breaks sometimes, no matter how much Noya complained. Even if everyone was doing spikes, be could practice receiving them! And whenever he played, the adrenaline filled his head with a welcome focus, a welcome distraction.  If he focused on the sweat dripping down his face he didn’t have to think about sweat dripping off someone else… NO. He needed to crash this train of thought off the tracks and into a ditch- no, into a deep, deep ocean, where it would sink to the bottom and stay there so he wouldn’t ever have to think about it again. 

 

     Noya had been distracted lately. Maybe that was a good word for it. It was the best word he could think of to describe the awfulness he felt in his stomach so often. He was even distracting himself now, losing himself in his thoughts. Noya hated being introspective, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Admitting he was desperate felt bad.  But there it was again. Noya perked up as he noticed Asahi was taking his turn in the drill line. A distraction from distracting himself from a distraction. 

 

     Asahi. That was what this was about.  And now that he was sitting out he was free to watch the team as much as he wanted. He was free to stare at Asahi’s calves flexing as he started his run-up or how tan his skin was or the flyaway hairs coming out of his loose bun- 

 

    Noya really needed to stop. He took a greedy drink from his water bottle and fought the urge to dump the whole thing over his stupid head. 

 

That was what this was about? He felt guilty for thinking thoughts in his own head. And despite himself he was mad at Asahi for being the cause of- of This. Noya didn’t know how to deal with feelings other than happiness and anger and this was a mixture of both and something else. Mostly anger.

He shouldn’t still be angry at Asahi for leaving the team. They both came back less than a week ago. Noya could tell Asahi was trying. The Interhigh was coming up soon. They would play Dateko again. Probably. That was a logical train of thought. The path his brain should be going down. Focused on volleyball. He should be watching the ball as it connected with Asahi’s large hand, be following its path to the floor. Instead his eyes remained on the ace as his feet reconnected with the ground, and stepped aside to let Suga set again, this time for Tsukkishima. Nishinoya’s eyes continued to follow Asahi as he returned to the back of the line. Noya really should be watching Tsukkishima’s run-up and study the way the ball collided with the blonde’s hand. But he wasn’t. He was watching- no, staring- at Asahi. He was watching the muscles move under Asahi’s sweaty practice shirt. Strands of hair stuck to the back of his neck. Shaking his head, Noya took another long drink of water-

 

And yet again repressed the need to dump the entire bottle over his burning face. Since when was he blushing? And, saving him from yet another train of thought that he ought to burn and then shove into the ocean, his little break was over. Back to practice, back to receiving, back to a heat in his face that was totally justifiable.

 

Skidding across the wooden floor. A burn on his forearm that would bruise or bleed later. Nothing to think about but the ball stinging just a little as it bounced off his arms. Interlocked fingers. Diving for a blocked ball. Missing. Saving. All welcome distractions. And the practice match was over far too soon and now practice was over far, far, too soon.

 

Noya was lying spread-eagle on the floor. His legs and arms were sore, and he the floor felt way too hot. He wouldn’t mind taking a running dive into a pile of snow right now. But it was spring, and that was a stupid idea anyway. Tanaka was sitting cross-legged next to him. Equally tired.

 

“Killer match, huh?” Tanaka tried to make conversation. It was clear both of them were too tired to talk. Noya closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

 

“Yeah.” He murmured, eyes still squeezed shut. “Killer.” He hoped no one would notice how above and beyond his usual performance he went today. Standards would go up, when in reality he was just trying to ignore a bug in the back of his brain. Stupid.

Noya scanned through his plans for the rest of the day. None. Bad sign. The sky was a deep desaturated blue already, signaling that the sunset would arrive soon. Hopefully he had tired himself out enough to fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The time it took him to fall asleep was the worst- or best, depending on how you thought about it- time to face his thoughts. Ever since- ever since he came back he’d been revolving around not thinking. 

 

Ha. Noya never thought about important things anyway. That was what led to all his rash decisions. Bad decisions. Maybe he should think about things more. That didn’t mean he wanted to.

 

“Dude? You alright down there?” Tanaka was standing above Nishinoya, offering his hand. Noya let himself be pulled to his feet. His legs were jello, complaining against the weight. He ignored them.

 

“Yeah. Yeah- like you said, killer practice.” Nishinoya glanced at the third-years, working on taking down the net. Definitely not staring at one of them in particular. Fuck. He shook his head in yet another attempt to clear his thoughts. What had come over him? 

 

The air was cool outside the gym. The sweat on Noya’s skin was drying cold. It would be a good idea to run home. Great idea. The rest of the team were planning on going to the corner store, but Noya didn’t feel up to it. As soon as the other boys started off, he broke away in a sprint. It felt nice to run. Even though he was tired. Maybe because he was tired. 

 

As he approached the front yard of his house, Nishinoya slowed down, panting. His little sister, Kyo, was playing with the dog. The yard was a little too small to play fetch with a dog as big as Thor, but she didn’t seem to mind. Thor noticed Noya jogging up the block and immediately raced to meet him, wagging her tail happily. Noya didn’t need to bend down for the huge dog as she jumped up to lick his neck. She was a chow chow, mixed with something else that no one could place. He cooed at her, ruffling her thick, rust-colored fur. His sister ran to join them.

 

“Thor! I thought you loved me!” Kyo said, pouting, her hands on her hips. She was 12, but mature for her age. Thor leaned against Noya’s legs.

 

“Who says she can’t love both of us?” Nishinoya said, still a little breathless from his run. Kyo noticed. She narrowed her eyes, looking a little concerned.

 

“Did you run all the way here?”

 

“Yes.” Noya responded shortly. He was tired from practice and his run and emotional panic, and trying to ignore how tired he really was. 

 

“No need to be so salty… Jeez.” Kyo watched him as he went into the house.

 

Nishinoya beelined for his room, threw his bag haphazardly on the floor and flopped onto his bed, burying his face in his pillow. Maybe if he slept for three years he would get over this, and he would stop fucking checking out his teammate. Wait. That’s what he was doing? Nishinoya groaned and rolled over, tugging his pillow over his head. He smashed his face into the mattress again. He wasn’t checking Asahi out. Noya knew he liked girls. He must be jealous of how built Asahi was. Yeah, that must be it. The team had a training camp with Nekoma, and then they had the tournament. Things he could focus on, get over this stupid infatuation and get on with his life. Straight guys had gay crushes sometimes. Not that this was a crush. It was normal. Nishinoya grumbled again and tried to bury himself even more under his pillow.

 

Training camp. Nekoma. That was more important.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training camp in Tokyo?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all so wrong but it’s an AU go with it
> 
> This was the exact same number of words as the first chapter before i edited it lmfao

     It was fine. Like Noya had said, he could focus on other things. Ignore the thoughts that floated to the surface of his mind, and keep them stranded deep underwater. Practice went by fast. Training camp. It was a break in the routine that he should have been more prepared for. The team was going all the way to Tokyo for a special training camp. It was going to be a lot of work, in more ways than one, but Noya hoped it would help in more ways than one. 

 

Noya had procrastinated packing his bag until the last morning, so there he was, shoving whatever he thought he needed into his bag last minute. What did someone need for a week away? Thor was nosing into his bag. He pushed her away, it probably wouldn’t make the best impression if he somehow smuggled a very large dog all the way to Tokyo. Whatever. Finally deciding he had enough, Nishinoya hurried out, quietly, because Kyo was still asleep. 

 

The boys were gathered, bleary-eyed, outside the bus. Tanaka looked half-asleep and Asahi looked dead. How the fuck did he still look so attractive this early in the morning???

 

Noya shifted his bag on his shoulder. As they got in the bus he made it a priority to sit as far away from Asahi as possible. That wasn’t rude, was it?? Noya hoped it wasn’t rude. Tanaka sat next to him, but made no effort to talk. He slumped over his bag and closed his eyes. He fell asleep again almost instantly. In fact it seemed like Noya was the only one fully awake. Except Hinata, but there was a good chance that boy never slept at all.  

  
  


Tokyo was nice. The first few days of camp were a wild blur of bruised limbs and sweat. It was all very welcome. 

 

Nishinoya slid forward, landing haphazardly and wildly missing the ball. Fuck. That was the seventh receive he’d missed today, and half of them should have been easy. If he had been paying attention. His eyes kept wandering to where they should definitely not be. But when Asahi started the run-up to his spike and jumped and slammed his hand into the ball and the ball ricocheted off the floor it was hard not to stare. Very hard. But Noya needed to get the fuck over this. Now.

 

They lost that practice set against Nekoma 15-25.

 

***

 

Noya rumpled his hair with his towel. The strands were still stringy and falling onto his forehead, dripping water into his eyes. His hair was getting too long. Oh well.

 

The night air was cold on his damp skin. Who thought it was a good idea to keep the bathrooms in a different building than where they were sleeping? As he walked to the building he heard the unmistakable sounds of- okay it wasn’t actually a very recognizable sound, but the fact that there was a sound at all was pretty recognizable. There were whispers and shuffling around the corner of a large bush. Was it still a bush at that point or was it a hedge? What was the difference? Shrugging the linguistic questions away, Noya perked up, more curious about the noises behind the plant than whether it was called a bush or a hedge. There were two figures standing behind the bush. Noya recognized Tsukkishima from how tall he was. And the other was- Nekoma’s middle blocker? His messy hair gave it away. And they were- kissing.  

What. What?

 

Nishinoya immediately shrunk back, he had the feeling that he really shouldn’t have seen that. Nekoma’s middle blocker- his name was Kuroo- (right?) had his hands on Tsukkishima’s ass, and honestly, they were really going at it. Nishinoya _really_ shouldn’t have seen that. As he was backing up, Noya, like the extremely smart person he obviously was, stepped into the leafy bush. (or hedge)  


He lost balance and toppled backwards, crashing into the leaves and cracking branches as he fell. Very loudly.

 

“Noya what the fuck” And there it was. Tsukkishima looked down at Noya, who was still half-sitting, half-lying in the bush. The first-year was obviously blushing, but he looked pissed. Really pissed. Kuroo stood behind him, looking a lot more surprised than angry.

 

“Um.” Noya had no answer. He had been snooping, that was undeniable, but if he had known what they were doing he wouldn’t have disturbed them. It was really their own fault for doing it in such a public place, right?

 

Those were bad excuses. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize that you-” Nishinoya began to babble. Kuroo stepped out from behind Tsukkishima. 

 

“Calm down,” Kuroo set his hand on Tsukkishima’s shoulder. The first-year immediately shrugged it off.

 

Tsukkishima did not look like he wanted to calm down, but he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Like he was counting to ten. Noya realized he was still tangled in the hedge/bush. His towel had gotten caught in the branches as well. He awkwardly moved to his feet and put his focus into untangling the damp cloth.

 

“Just keep this between the three of us, okay Nishinoya-chan?” Kuroo grinned widely in a way that reminded Noya of the cheshire cat from that old movie. _Where did the -chan come from?_ That was at the bottom of his “to-internally-freak-out-over” list however. There were quite a few things jostling for the top spot.

  
  


***

 

Tsukkishima and Noya sat across from each other in the very back booth of the cafe. Noya was sipping his disgusting milkshake concoction (who combines every flavor of milkshake????) and staring at the other boy.

 

“What do you want, Nishinoya-san?” Tsukkishima hadn’t gotten anything, even though Noya had offered to pay. Which was a shame because the milkshakes here were really good. “I know you didn’t drag me here so I could watch you drink a shitty milkshake.” Noya fought the urge to defend the milkshakes.  


 

“Yes. Uhm. I have, questions, about you and Kuroo.” This was a lot more awkward than Noya had anticipated. He hadn’t thought this far ahead.

 

Tsukkishima sighed. “Let me guess, you think you’re bi-curious because you accidentally glanced at another guy in the changing room.”

 

“What? No.” Noya took another long sip of his blended sugary disaster. “There’s this guy.”

 

“And?” 

 

Noya took a deep breath. 

 

“He’s so...hot... oh my god, he’s so hot it’s distracting, I can’t get over it, and I’m missing basic receives in practice because I keep staring. He’s so fucking attractive, I can't understand how a human being can be that amazing? Every part of him, his face, his hair, his eyes, his ass… his abs!! He's so nice too!!! He's so cute when he blushes and he blushes whenever anyone compliments him it's so cute I can't HANDLE it!!!” Tsukkishima raised his eyebrows. “I think I’m freaking out??” Nishinoya finished and buried his face in his arms.  


 

“Well I can say I wasn’t expecting that.”

 

“What do I do???” Nishinoya pressed his forehead against the table. 

 

Tsukkishima didn’t say anything for a little while. The quiet bustling of the cafe somehow made Noya more nervous than he already was. Why did he even have to deal with this.

 

“I can’t tell you what to do if I don’t know who it is, can I?”

 

“No! I know you’re an asshole I can’t trust you with that information.” Noya grumbled.

 

“Good point.” Tsukkishima rested his head in his hand. “How straight is this guy?”

 

“...What do you mean?”

 

“Well if you want to act on your, frankly, out-of-control thirst for this guy you need to know if he’s straight.”

  
  


“I think he had a girlfriend for a while last year?”

 

“So did you.”

“...That’s not the kind of advice i wanted anyway. I want to get over this so I can go back to being normal.”

 

“You’re perfectly normal as is. Okay, maybe not, but that has nothing to do with liking guys.”

 

“I don’t like guys. I like  _ a _ guy”

 

“So you admit you like him.”

 

Nishinoya was quiet for a moment. He ad a lot of thoughts going through his mind but couldn’t seem to hold down a single one.

“But I like girls. I’m straight.”

 

“That rant you went on a minute ago was definitely not straight. And you can like both.”

 

“Oh.” Noya had a lot of stuff he needed to mull over. He decided to shove it into a corner of his brain for later. Maybe a lot later. Maybe even never.   


 

“Is that all you wanted? A little help figuring out your sexuality crisis?”

 

“What’s up with you and that Kuroo guy?” 

 

Tsukkishima paused. He suddenly looked uncomfortable.

 

“Nothing serious. It’s just casual.” 

 

“Do you want it to be just casual?” Noya blurted out, surprising himself and his underclassman. 

Tsukkishima didn’t say anything. He stood up, not looking at Noya.

 

“I hope I helped you a little.” He said shortly. And then Noya was left alone in the booth. The milkshake was empty now too. Crap.  


**Author's Note:**

> More things will be tagged as they appear hopefully!


End file.
